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Two steps from 40

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0600

I'm two short steps from turning 40 and while there have been moments that this knowledge has sent me running to the mirror to see if I am melting into something else, something older and different and unrecognizable, the truth is that I only see myself as I know me to be. There may be a few more wrinkles around the eyes and at my cleavage then there were 10 years ago, but I still look like just me. In fact, some days I can even find the younger me in the mirror, when I look real close. She's there, I'm here, and together we are facing the next step as one - past and present joining together to face the future with a smile and open arms. I have 40 years of memories to look back on with a happy heart knowing that I have lived, I have learned, and best of all, I have loved and been loved. Now I can face the next 40 years with a different outlook than I had when I started the first 40...I have experience, knowledge, and a desire to see the world as a place full of wonder, joy, and adventure. I go forward with my heart open, my eyes wide, and my hands holding those I love so that they can walk beside me as I take those two steps....

Old passions merge into something new

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0600

Long ago and not so far away, I was a girl with a passion...roller skating! I loved it; the feel of the wind blowing my hair out behind me as I flew through my neighborhood, the sound of the wheels as they rolled over the ground, the feel of the vibrations as I moved one foot and then the other across the different textures like the smooth tennis courts, cracked sidewalks, rough asphalt, and the fresh pavement of the new school parking lot. On Friday nights though, I could be found at the indoor skating rink with their polished wood floors, old thin carpet over concrete, and disco ball lighting.

Fast forward to two months ago...I just moved back to the area where I grew up after a 20 year absence. One of the many benefits of this move is that I am now living in the same area code as one of my favorite women on the planet, a woman I love and admire and did I mention that she is the woman who taught me to skate? Well, one day she tells me that there is a local female roller derby league. She has been working out with them and is planning to try out during the next "Fresh Meat" session and she wants to know if I would be interested in training too? Well, what could I say except "Hell yeah"!!! So, here I am, back in the land of my childhood where I have rediscovered an old passion in a whole new way, and now, if all goes well, I'll get to put it to use being pushy, aggressive, and sometimes even downright nasty when its called for! Watch out Ladies, I'm ready to kick some roller derby butt!

Diggin' deep...

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0600

Ok, so this blog is NOT gonna be all about roller skating, I promise! But, today I went to a roller skating / fitness class and I have to share...it was so fun, and painful, and I did really good so I am very happy!! There were 8 of us, ranging from beginning to seasoned skaters. I would say that I am seasoned, and saucy, but that is another topic for another day.

I am trying to get in shape and build my roller skating skill set so that I will not be laughed out of the "Fresh Meat" meeting for Roller Derby next month. After today, I actually feel better about my chances, but I still need to keep working on it. Those Roller Derby girls are tough so I need to dig my badass attitude up out of the place I have buried it for the past few years while I have been working on being respectable and grown up. I have decided that I just need to balance the two, badass and respectable. It can be done, I know it can! My mantra will be, "I am a badass, respectable woman who can take 'em down with style". Ok, I may need to work on that a little.

While I am practicing my roller derby-style skating skills, I hope to get into better shape so that I will have a new and improved look to go along with my new and improved attitude (or really, my old and rediscovered attitude). I can't wait to go shopping for a couple short skirts, new fishnets, and colorful knee-high socks to skate in...they say the clothes make the girl, right?! So, dress the part, be the badass - respectably?

First time wine tasting, long time drinking

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0600

I have very recently moved to an area that is quite popular for its wineries and vineyards, so last Friday I figured I would go with the "when in Rome" idea and try wine tasting for the first time. I like wine and, in fact, I drink it quite often (too often?), but I am in no way a snobby wine girl. I figure if its cheap, then I can afford to drink more of it and that's a good thing, right?!

Over the years, my tastes have changed. I started out liking sweet stuff - like Strawberry Hill, which I am not sure really qualifies as wine, but at the time (I was young and stupid) it was what I could get my hands on. I graduated to wine coolers, which definitely do not qualify as wine. As I got older and started pretending to be a grown up, I moved on to white zinfandels. Later, I progressed to rieslings where I stayed for a of couple years. Recently, I have gotten tired of the sweet stuff and branched out into sauvignon blanc, pinot grigio, viognier and fume blanc. As you may have guessed, I am not a fan of red wines. Yes, I know they are better for me (according to some scientist people I don't know or trust) but to me the flavor is usually so heavy I cannot drink enough to enjoy ... the effects.

So, wine tasting was interesting. I started with a 2006 sauv blanc, which was just ok. I thought it had a little too much bite. The 2007 sauv blanc, however, was wonderful. Lightly fruity without the strong acid burn. The next was a surprise, a chardonnay which I actually enjoyed! Usually chardonnay has too much oak flavoring for me. This was light and perfectly balanced, the only chardonnay I've ever tried that I would be willing to drink again. Lastly, I tried a pinot noir, something my region is famous for I have been told. Again, a complete surprise! It was a lovely red, without the usual heaviness I associate with reds. It had the stronger grape flavor, of course, but was really quite nice. I could definitely see myself enjoying a glass (or bottle) over candlelight with my hubby.

The downfall of all this discovery is that these wines cost over $20 a bottle from the winery, so I am guessing they are even more in a regular store. For a wine connoisseur, this is probably a steal (if they considered it to have any worth at all), but for me its just a waste of my shoe money! I mean, I enjoyed the experience, and the wines, but all in all, I'd rather pay $3.99 for a bottle of wine at Trader Joe's and drink often without feeling guilty about the cost. This way, I will still be able to afford a new pair of sexy shoes now and then! Its a win-win plan I am gonna have to stick with - so much for being the sophisticated grown up!

Wanted: Hair Stylist

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

I have moved a lot for someone who has never been involved with the military. I have lived in three different states, 10 different cities, and 19 different homes. At this point, I consider myself to be accomplished at packing and moving and while I am not in love with the process, I am not intimidated by it either.

Over the years, as I have moved far and wide, I have become good at exploring and discovering the things that are necessary and important to my life in each new place. Some of these things are easier to find than others. For me, the most difficult is always the all important hair stylist.

I am very particular about having my hair cut. My hair is very curly and the texture changes with the seasons, the temperature, and the humidity levels in the air. Every time I move from one area to another, I have to wait a few weeks to see how my hair will react. In fact, there are a few places I just refuse to live based on how the weather in the area affects my hair. You might think this is absolutely ridiculous, but think about your worst hair day, and imagine having that every day!

I have tried just about every product out there for curly hair from humidity control gels and sprays to smoothing serums to all the special shampoos and conditioners. I have even considered going to a salon in NYC that specializes in curly hair, but it costs $150 and up to get a hair cut there and I am not willing to go that far - yet! I have, however, tried their hair care product; some work and some are no better than the other products I've tried. I currently use a very inexpensive shampoo and conditioner that are (supposedly) moisturizing, a spray to fight humidity, a cream to provide smoothness and a finishing spray to keep it all from exploding. At the moment, my hair is cooperating and looking good 5 out of 7 days a week, which is sweet!

So, on to the hair stylist hunt. I have asked around the few people I know here to find out who is thrilled with their hair stylist, but I haven't actually found anyone here that has curly hair to get a trustworthy opinion from. In fact, most people don't even have a strong opinion about the person cutting their hair - how is that possible?! I guess straight haired people just don't get as worked up about this issue - but I don't understand why! They have issues to worry about too - like bangs or no bangs, straight edges or layers, full color or highlights? These are viable concerns and you don't really care who you trust them to? I don't get it!

Anyways, I have narrowed it down to two salons. One is kinda beige and nondescript inside and I think they are going for serene and classy. The other is bright pink and black, the stylists all have tattoos and fun color in their hair - definitely a more rock n roll type atmosphere. The other difference is cost. Classy shop costs about $25 more per cut than Fun shop.

After talking to people in both shops, I am really leaning towards Fun shop. My hubby isn't too sure about my decision, he thinks I might get a more experienced stylist from Classy, but my feeling is that Fun has people who have worked on every type of hair and they have probably fixed many hairstyles gone wrong- which can be the best way to learn what not to do!

I'll let you know my final decision and the outcome after I make one, and go through with the appointment - wish me luck!

First day jitters...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Monday I became officially hired and registered as a substitute for the local school district. This is a great job for me because I do not want to work full time right now, and I can pick and choose the days and assignments I want to work while I make some extra money now and then (for shoes, of course). Since I have not (yet) finished my degree, I can only substitute in specific areas, like the library, as a teacher's aide or for the clerical staff and not as a full fledged classroom teacher. Less money, but sooo much less stress!

My favorite place to work in a school is the library. I have years of experience as a volunteer, aide, and even as the head librarian at a private school in another state. I still volunteer at a school library once a week and it makes me happy, but my son is not such a fan. As a student of the school where I volunteer, and a soon-to-be teenager worried about his reputation being tarnished by his mother's presence, he was not happy about the situation. However, Hubby and I assured him that he would never see me since he would not have any reason to visit the library. Of course, the first day I was there his English class came in for their lesson and there I was, smiling at the irony, but I kept to myself and did not embarrass him in front of his friends. After school, he begged me to quit immediately. This is the same kid I couldn't peel from my leg for the first two months of preschool. Oh, how quickly they grow up!

I did not quit, of course, but purely by accident, my hours did change and now we will not run into each other in the library unless his PE class decides to visit, which (I think) is unlikely.

So today I got my first job assignment. Its a clerical position at the local high school and I am going in as a complete stranger having never set foot on that campus before, which I will admit, has me a little nervous. Back in my own high school days, I was friends with a couple of guys that went to this school, but I never visited there - they were my school's #1 rival! It has been over 20 years so I am pretty sure it is safe for me to be there now...but I probably won't mention that I went to the other high school, just to be sure.

One thing I did not realize is that the staff starts the day SO early! I am not used to getting out of bed before 7:30am, so the fact that I have to leave the house by 7:00 seems almost not worth the money! Ok, I know that's silly, I mean I spent many years working in a corporate environment and often was at work by 6:00am, but that was so many years ago and I was so much younger then! I only hope that I don't fall asleep halfway through the morning. Or, worse, bite the head off some student who is strolling in late and needs a tardy slip to get into class. I might be all "Why are you late? I was here literally at the crack of dawn but you couldn't be bothered to roll out of bed and get yourself here on time with the extra hour you were given?". Of course, he'll probably have some really great excuse that will make feel like a troll, like he was attending his grandmother's funeral or something.

I imagine that the administration would frown on that type of behavior from a first time substitute too, and it might be cause for early termination. I would never hear the end of it from my son if that happened either! He'd be all happy (and maybe even slightly impressed) that Mom was fired for being rude to a student - he thinks I am way too nice to people as a general rule. Of course, he didn't know me in my obnoxious teenage years when I was a huge ball of defensive sarcasm that spewed at everyone who got in my way.

But, that was years ago and I'm sure I won't revert to such behavior just because I am back in the realm of high school...I'm pretty sure, anyway. I better drink lots of caffeine just to be on the safe side, and maybe take some of that Halloween candy I have stashed at the back of the pantry for a mid-afternoon pick-me-up. I may not have ever been a Boy Scout, but I do believe in the "Always be prepared" motto!

Wish me luck!

First Official Blog Goal

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600

First blog goal: To post a blog every day for the next 20 days.

I figure if I start small-ish, I have a better chance of making the goal. Besides, I know that once the holidays start I might miss a few. And then there is the vacation I'll be on for 11 days, 5 of which I'll be in the middle of the ocean and may not have access to blogging options.

So, November 1, the day of Falling Back with the time. The day after Halloween, always a fun time! Even at (almost) 40 I still dress up every year, even if I'm just handing out candy. In fact, I prefer to dress up and hand out candy rather than go out in public for random shopping or lunch dressed up.

I went out on Thursday night to this big event my town has every Thursday night of the year (unless it falls on a major holiday) and had a great time watching the costumed people. My favorite, of course, was the group of zombies all traveling together, walking slowly and gurgling out "Brainssss" every now and then. I LOVE zombies!!

The next best costume was Jack Sparrow. This guy did a great job of acting out the mannerisms and holding his hands out and just generally looking like Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow. I had to laugh at the number of people (teens, kids, and even adults) who asked this guy to take a picture with them. I mean really people, this was just a random guy in a good costume, but he was very gracious about it so he gets brownie points from me!

The most effort for costume had to go to the Skunk couple - a guy and girl with full skunk gear on. Now, I don't know if it really took effort, or if they were rented or what, but the costumes were big, bulky, and not just something thrown together from what you had in your closet.

My favorite little person costume was a set of twins who were about a year old and were sitting in a wagon which had been made up to look like a planter and the kids were dressed in flower costumes. It was very Anne Geddes-esque.

As for Halloween night, I was disappointed in how few trick-or-treaters we actually had visit the house. We live in a family oriented neighborhood that is the perfect design for safe trick-or-treating so where did they all go?! I am gonna have to figure this out - is there some town sanctioned Halloween deal that I am not aware of that prevents the majority of kids from trick-or-treating in neighborhoods these days?

I dressed up as a Roller Derby girl, of course! My wildly curly hair in pig tails, tights and fishnets, short skirt, skimpy tank top, false eye lashes, extra makeup with sparkle, and the all important derby skates! If nothing else, my hubby was a big fan of it and of me - I'm such a lucky girl!! Now if I can just get rid of all this extra candy without inhaling it myself, it will be great!

Happy Birthday Dad!

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

In honor of my dad, on his birthday, I have to give a shout out to the man who has been my hero, my friend, my teacher, and my cheerleader for all these years!

Dad, I have always admired your strength, your work ethic, your sense of humor, your desire to do good, and your zest for life. I have learned so much from being your daughter, and I can honestly say that so much of who I am is because of you.

One of the earliest lessons I learned from my dad is that life is about having fun.

Dad has always been a dedicated and hard worker and he taught me to have a strong work ethic just by watching him.

Dad has always been there for me, even when I didn't want to talk about it he would just sit by and hold my hand while I cried it out.

Dad has faced death a number of times, quite literally, and he has always come out the victor.

In the face of difficulty and impossible odds, he has triumphed and flourished even, when just getting by would have been enough for some.

Dad has taught me to be true to myself and that I am worthy of the best life has to offer, that I have the right to all that is good in this life if I am just willing to work for it.

Dad is my hero. He taught me about being a good person, standing up for what I believe in, offering my hand to those who are in need of one, and to never give up on my dreams because dreams come true every day, why not mine?

Thank you for all that you have given me; your love, your strength, your time, your shoulder to cry on, and most of all, your belief that I could conquer anything if I put my mind to it.

Happy Birthday, Dad! I love you with all my heart!

Random Tuesday...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

I started today with a walk to my local Starbucks for breakfast. It was beautiful and sunny outside, a great day for a walk. Back at home, I finished up a few things I was working with on the computer and then headed out to an appointment with my college counselor.

I am getting ready to register for Spring classes and needed to know where I stand in the whole degree process. The good news is, after 20+ years of attending college on and off (mostly off), I am finally just a semester away from completing my degree! The sad thing is, this will only get me an AS degree - but hell, its a degree and will increase my pay scale by over $4.00 an hour, which makes me happy!

To celebrate, I decided to do some shopping and take myself out to lunch. My regular lunch partner, Hubby, was working at home today, so I was on my own. Luckily, I am very comfortable being out in the world on my own - shopping, eating, movies, whatever. I can't believe how many women I have met who are not willing to do anything on their own. I do not understand the problem, but that's a topic for another day.

I found three new books at the library, a cute pair of earrings, a strapless bra and a cute little bolero for a dress I'm planning to wear on my cruise next month. It was a great hour of shopping and then on to lunch at CPK where I got started on one of my new library books. When I got home, I found that a shirt I ordered last week had arrived in the mail and it is just as cute in person as I hoped it would be!

The rest of the day was spent with my boys, hanging out.

You just can't beat the pleasures of a random Tuesday!

Friday Wanderings

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Friday is the day that I like to spend wandering. Some days Hubby and I take long drives up or down the coast, walking on the beach with our dog, going to a movie at a theater or driving through wine country. Sometimes we spend our days wandering through shops in some cute little town or walking around a lake. Whatever we do, we always have fun and spend a lot of our time laughing, talking, and dreaming wonderful dreams about the future.

Today's wanderings involved (possible) plans for future wanderings. In direct relationship to my upcoming 40th birthday, I have been dreaming of a new car. Not just any car, of course, but a convertible sports car that purrs and roars at all the right moments and offers the best in performance driving on the back roads that I am so fond of, as well as the highways that are necessary (and even fun) at times.

While dreaming, I happened to come across a live representation of my dream...and it was just a couple miles away from home! So today, Hubby took me down to the lot and we inspected the beautiful piece of machinery in person. As is typical of all car lots, a salesman approached us after a few minutes and began discussing the car in detail. When he asked if I had any questions, my only response was "Where are the keys?". Once we got into the car, I immediately put the top down...because convertible cars are meant to be driven topless, I mean that is the whole point, right?

Leaving the lot, top down, a little rusty at shifting gears but still passable, the car purred and roared just as I hoped it would. Working my way out of the city on to the back roads that run through some beautiful countryside, I got back into the swing of shifting. Once I reached the open road, the car and I became one and it felt like we were flying together, and it was such a smooth takeoff that it felt like spreading warm butter on freshly baked bread. It was...beyond wonderful!

I continued flying along the road, the top down, my curls blowing wildly in the wind, the sun shining down upon my smiling face and it felt like bliss! It was a perfect moment, wandering through a beautiful day with joy in my heart and the wind in my hair!

I don't know if the car will ever be mine or not, not all dreams are meant to come true, but that was really not the point anyway.

Roller Derby Info...

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Today was the info meeting for Roller Derby, and now that I am armed with all this new information, I am not sure my (almost) 40 year old butt is prepared to commit to it.

Here is what I learned that I did not know before:

1) The training program has been condensed from 6 months to 4 months so I will have to learn (and master) all the same skills in a much shorter period of time
2) The practice sessions are 3 hours long, each!
3) Before making the team, there are 1 to 2 group practices a week and you are expected to practice on your own to improve all your skills on (ALL) the other days
4) Once you make the Fresh Meat program, practice is 3 times a week, every week
5) Fresh Meat kiddies do all the same donation solicitation as the team members to support the program
6) Did I mention the 3 hour long practice sessions, 3 times every week? Not to mention the practice time done on your own everyday in between?

Ok, so I am feeling a little intimidated by the time commitment and the idea of being very sore and tired ALL THE TIME!

On the other hand, the good things are:

1) Getting in incredible shape and being able to master those skills with style
2) Getting to wear cute little skirts with tights and fishnets and ruffle-butt panties in public
3) Being in shape (see #1) so that #2 if really fun and makes me feel good about myself
4) Building friendships with an amazing group of women that share a common passion
5) Getting a cute name like Curly Shrew (already taken, but its an example) which I get to use as my only name when I am in Roller Derby mode
6) Rink rash is sexy - or so they say!

So, now I have to decide if I am willing (and able) to take this crazy idea to the next level. Am I capable of this type of exercise? Can I survive 3 hour training sessions led by drill-sergeant type instructors? Am I worthy? I guess the answer to the last question is only "yes" if I am will to try and give it all I have - its not worth doing if I'm not all in.

So, at this point I commit to next Saturday and we'll go from there I guess. Of course, I'll spend a lot of time this week really thinking about it - while I am out skating!

Anybody else gone through something like this? Something you had (wanted) to commit to but weren't sure you were physically up to the challenge? I'd love to hear how you handled it.

Star light, star bright...

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

I wanted to share some news I just heard. Beginning on November 17th around 11:00pm, through 4:00am November 18th (PST), the Leonid Meteor Shower will be happening. The strongest showing will apparently be visible in Asia, according to Space.com, but will also be visible from North America and other places around the world.

Here on the West Coast, we will basically be able to see "shooting stars" every few minutes and since the new moon (no, NOT the movie) begins on November 16th, the sky will be nice and dark to make visibility even better.

I have seen a meteor shower once before, while I was living on the East Coast, and it is pretty amazing! I highly recommend losing a little sleep and making the time to experience this.

For more information, check out the Space.com site, or one of the many other sites out there with information on the Leonid Meteor Shower, its really kinda fascinating!

Enjoy, and don't forget to make a wish!

Out of step...

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

You know those days where you just feel out of step? Well, that was my day. I woke up feeling pain in every muscle that I had forgotten I even had before I started this new exercise routine on DVD with Jillian Michaels called 30 Day Shred. On top of that, I also had a major headache which is what actually woke me up at 5:00am.

My phone rang (vibrated) at 5:30am, which I knew was a substitute job being offered, but at that point I just couldn't imagine spending the day around kids and grown ups all wanting me to perform some task or another. A couple hours after taking some OTC pain reliever I started my day by making breakfast for my boys. They wanted crepes, which do not fit into my current eating plan, so I made them breakfast, made lunch for my son, and got him off to school. Obviously, the pain reliever had kicked in and was working...for the time being.

Since I was feeling a bit better, I decided to be strong and do my workout. I got through that self inflicted torture and then got ready for the day at large. By 11:00am, Hubby and I were ready to head out into the world and run a few errands. Unfortunately, I felt the beginnings of the return of the headache, but I tried to ignore it - which never works, by the way!

While we were out, I headed over to Starbucks for my regular influx of caffeine thinking it might help the headache, but help or not, I was in need. A few minutes later, Hubby and I are walking down the street, side by side, and he reaches out to hold my hand not seeing the cup and he gets stabbed by the straw. I feel terrible and responsible for his injury, even though he was really fine and was not even trying to blame me. We were just not in sync.

On our way to lunch at a little cafe we like, I realized I needed to just lie down at home, so we headed back to the car. As soon as I sat down, my head started swimming. We got home, I laid down on the couch, took some more pain reliever and watched/slept through the DVR'd TV shows from last week. I stayed there until dinner.

By dinner time, I was feeling a little better again (thanks to the pain meds). I had a great meal planned out, but forgot one part of it even though it was right in front of me in the kitchen. The plates looked a little empty when I got them to the table, but I didn't figure it out until after we had finished eating.

At that point, I was not up to cooking anything more so the boys took care of cleaning the kitchen (they are the BEST!) and "suffered" through dessert without me. My muscles were still incredibly sore, so I headed to the hot tub for a soak.

Afterwards, getting out of the hot tub, I nearly stepped on the dog who had laid himself down on the ground right up against the thing. He ran off, not happy with being wet and almost maimed, and I just tried not to slip on the deck while I dried off at that point.

Last, but not least, I realized that I hadn't written my blog for the day...and since I made a 20 day commitment, and this is only day 9, and I was just bragging to Hubby earlier in the day about how proud I was that I hadn't missed a posting yet, I realized I had to get this done - headache or not!

So, that is how committed I am to this ... um, commitment?! Bad day, good day, headache, flat hair, whatever - I am here!

Ok, I'm going to sleep the rest of this bad day away. Good night!

A Little Worried ...

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Today I sent my boys (Hubby and almost-teenage-son) to the grocery store to get a few necessities (toilet paper/foil/milk). They came home with five bags of groceries and a case of Mountain Dew. In addition to the items I needed and the soda, they got beer, Pop Tarts AND two flavors of Toaster Strudels, potato chips, two boxes of hot chocolate mix packets, granola bars, a huge chocolate bar, a box of cheese danish, and for some reason I cannot understand, a 2 liter bottle of more Mountain Dew.

I guess I was not shocked that they had gotten a few supplies of their own, or even that they were all foods that could send some people into Diabetic shock I imagine, but I was surprised at how much they got! This is just for the next day or so, in their minds, but it has me a little worried about how they will fare while I am on vacation at the end of this month.

I am going on my first cruise with my BFF to celebrate both our birthdays, something we try to do every year or two when we can get away. My boys will have to fend for themselves for longer than normal since this trip involves me traveling to the other side of the country, spending a couple days with my dad before my friend and I ship out for 5 days. I am usually only gone for three or four days, so this will be different for all of us.

Since I am leaving shortly after Thanksgiving, I promised I would make the full spread for Thanksgiving dinner which will give them plenty of leftovers to eat for at least a few days. But once they run out of the good stuff, what will they eat? Hubby is completely capable of cooking wonderful meals, but after today I am worried that his judgment might be off, just a little.

I know they will have fun while I'm gone and they'll enjoy breaking a few of the "Mom" rules that are harmless, like staying up late and eating junk food. But how much junk food is too much? Is there a limit that can be ingested in a week? Does it go by body weight or emotional limits? I don't know the answer to any of these questions, but I imagine its different for everyone.

As for me, I love a good cup of ice cream or a slice of pie a la mode once in a while. If I'm being honest, I could probably eat them a few (5?) times a week if I was willing to live with the consequences, but I am not! My boys share a very fast metabolism and have the ability to eat as they please without gaining unwanted weight. They are both very active too, which helps a lot.

Of course, gaining weight isn't the only problem that arises with all that sugar. My son will be bouncing off the walls for a while, then he'll settle down into a very grumpy almost-teenager, which is no fun! I guess this will work to my advantage if Hubby can remember, before its too late, that balance is required for a very good reason and not just because Mom wants to torture everyone with eating veggies.

Hubby is a fantastic dad and I never worry about him taking care of our son on his own...ok, I do worry, but only because it is part of my nature, not because I think he's not responsible or capable! He truly is great, and perfectly capable, if not always completely responsible - but who is?

One time, when our son was about a year old, I came home from a night class to find all the pillows and blankets in a pile on the floor and my son proceeded to jump off the couch into the pile with a huge smile and lots of laughter. They were playing "stunt baby", of course! He survived that time, and had lots of fun too, so I guess I should let the worry go and trust that they will be fine. Just no need for ER visits or sugar comas...please?!

Does anyone have any funny stories about leaving their kids with the hubby and coming home to chaos? Or, pleasantly surprised at a good outcome?

Veteran's Day...never forget our heroes

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Today is Veteran's Day, a day that has been set aside each year to honor and remember the brave and dedicated service men and women who protect and defend our country. I know that there is a lot that could be said about our country's interests and political agendas among other things, but the fact is that there are men and women who are willing to spend their lives in the service of this country because they believe in what it stands for, and I am grateful to them all.

I believe that regardless of how one feels about the politics of the military and their actions, it is always important to support, and remember, those who preserve our rights to speak up and speak out about our views, to be educated, seek justice, and to live with the everyday freedoms that we often take for granted, but appreciate just the same.

So, today I say thank you...specifically to both my grandfathers, my father-in-law, my uncles, and most recently my cousins-in-law. Additionally, I wish to thank every man and woman, every hero, who served to protect and fight for all of us.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank You!

Thankful Thursday...

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, and seeing how its always on a Thursday, it seemed appropriate to set aside Thursdays as my "Thankful Day". I have so many things in my life to be thankful for so I thought it will be a good thing to choose just one or two to write about each Thursday.

Right off the bat, I have to say how thankful I am for my family. My husband and my son, well they truly complete me, to steal a cheesy movie line. Without them, my life would be a very sad, dim and uneventful place. I am thankful for them every single day, and I try to remember to let them know how important they are to me, how much I love them, and how much I appreciate them everyday. Sometimes I let them know just by saying it out loud and other times I try to say it without words, but with actions such as giving foot massages (an absolute favorite in my house) or baking a special dessert or cooking their favorite homemade meal or doing any number of other things along those lines.

A lot of times these little things seem to go unnoticed, which is ok because I am not doing it for me, I am doing it to please them whether they recognize it or not. Then, sometimes right out of the blue, one of them will give me a foot massage, or do the dishes after dinner, or take out the trash without being asked, or just hang out with me when I'm doing something boring, or invite me out to skate with them...and I know that they know that I love them with all my heart - and that they love me the same.

I am thankful for my family for so many reasons, but here are just a few:

their big hearts and generosity
their ability to see the humor in everything
their sense of adventure
how much fun we have together
their laughter
the dedication to each other
their love...

What are you thankful for today?

Friday Wanderings

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Today is Friday, my day for wandering in one way or another. This was not a day for wandering far and wide, but still, there was wandering. Hubby and I went into downtown and walked around hand in hand, stopping into a few shops and thinking ahead to Christmas a little, which is really not so far away!

After wandering around town for an hour or so, we headed to a little restaurant we like for lunch. The outside patio overlooks the creek that runs through town and after lunch we wandered down to the water and crossed from one side to the other on the same rocks where my brother and I played when we were kids. I did a little wandering through time as I remembered playing in the creek during the summers with my brother and our friends while our parents sat on the patio above listening to the live music as they ate lunch. There was a lot of laughing, splashing, and catching of crawdads back then - good memories!

Once we were done in the creek and on the other side, we walked up the little hillside and sat on the grass in the park and talked for a while. When we realized our time was coming to an end for the day's wandering, we headed back to the car, hand in hand, laughing and talking about the projects we want to work on in the coming week.

It was a nice day for wandering, and good to wander close to home, keeping it simple. The best thing about wanderings like this is my wandering partner, who makes every day a wonderful adventure in our journey together!

Support your local Roller Derby team!

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Tonight was Roller Derby night! Last bout of the season and it was an exciting double header - the local Derby Girls rocked the house with high scoring wins in both bouts and lots of fun and action throughout!

If you have never been to a Roller Derby bout (what a match is called), it is an exciting event, and many may be surprised to learn, a family event as well! The girls are dressed in great "uniforms" that are anything but uniform! Some wear fishnets with short shorts, others wear lacy half tights with mini skirts, and still others wear thigh high tights or socks with boy shorts...sometimes with entertaining commentary printed on them.

Tops usually consist of a team shirt or tank top - some ripped around the middle or on the sides, others with the necks cut low - with the team member's name on it and their number. Roller Derby names are very fun and there are no duplicates throughout the country. In fact, a list is kept of every member nationwide and everyone must register their name. The numbers duplicate, but a player can choose any number they want. I've seen height, weight and body measurements used as numbers as well as police call numbers, such as 5150 and 1019.

The names are also very fun, usually a play on words of some sort. For example, one of my favorites is "Curly Shrew" (because I am Curly too, of course), and one of my least favorites is "Black Star Heroine", and I think the reason there is pretty obvious. Roller Derby is a great team environment where women are competitive and physical and basically bad ass on the rink. Having met some of the girls off rink, it is funny to see how normal and considerate they are. On the rink, they are aggressive, competitive, and seriously...well, bad ass. How fun is that, getting to have a whole other persona, fun name included?!

I am seriously considering trying out for my local Roller Derby team. I have committed myself to go through the training and then decide if I am ready for the next step. The truth is, I am not sure I am tough enough anymore, and being that I am almost 40, I don't know if I am willing to get hurt when it takes much longer to heal these days than it used to. On the other hand, I love the competitiveness, the sport itself, and of course, the names and outfits! So, I will take it one step at a time and see how it goes.

If you have never been to a Roller Derby bout, I highly recommend you check out your local area and find the closest team - with so many teams now playing across the country, chances are there is one close to you and you may not even know it. Once you find the team, go to a bout! Its fun for the whole family and they also do a lot of charitable work in their communities, supporting local groups in need with their time and money. Support your local Roller Derby, and support your community!

Get out there and cheer!!!

Beautiful Day Epiphany...

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Today was such a beautiful day in my part of the land! The skies were blue, no clouds in sight, the sun was warm and bright, and the birds were singing their little tunes. Ok, I don't really remember the bird tunes, but the rest is all true.

So, not to pass this beautiful day by without some type of special notice, we took our dog down to the beach to play in the sand. Our dog is so sweet, cute as anything, humorous as a dog can be, but also a little prissy. For some reason we are not aware of, he is terrified of the sound of water running in nature. Doesn't bother him in the house, but out in nature, forget it. We first discovered this when he was a puppy and we took him on a hike. Walking in the rocks, dirt, grass, and under the trees he was fine, but as soon as we were in earshot of the little creek that ran near part of the trail, he anchored his butt and refused to move all 20 lbs of himself another step.

Anyway, knowing this about him, we don't try to force it on him...too often. We have found that he loves the beach, playing and running in the sand and dunes, but won't go near the waves. So today, we headed out to the dunes where Hubby, Boy, Dog and I played hide and seek and a little freeze tag together. I am not too fond of the freeze tag, or any kind of tag for that matter, because my boys can ALWAYS out run me, no matter what! On the other hand, I am awesome at hide and seek and almost always win! Today was no exception.

At one point while I was hiding, I was lying down on the sand, hidden by the tall grasses that grow over the trails, and I looked up into the clearest blue sky and watched as a seagull flew around, coasting a little in the breeze. It was just a few moments in time, but it was so beautiful! It felt like I was the only one there, it was so quiet, and I just took that time to breathe in the absolute beauty and peace of the moment so that I would remember it for a long time to come.

And then..."Where is she?" I hear as my boys, including the dog, go traipsing by on the path just above me. I see them looking down and all around, and I even think they MUST see me, since I can see them, but no. They keep going, still looking all around, and end up running two more passes by my hiding spot before I finally stand up and wave with a big smile on my face. They come running back, arguing and laughing about how one of them should have seem me, and at least the dog should have found me since they had come so close by me not once, not twice, but three times!

At that point, I realized that the same lack of looking closer, a little deeper, is why they can never find the food they are looking for in the cupboard or the fridge and always have to ask me where it is. And then I realize that this is just one of the reasons why I am a little worried about leaving them together to fend for themselves for a week. I guess it won't matter too much that they just grab what is in front for a single week.

Hmmm, wait a minute now...maybe I can use this to my advantage. If I put the healthier choices in front and the junk food to the back, I wonder if they would dig through to find what they really want if I wasn't around to explain the item's exact location?! Certainly something to ponder - and experiment with I think!

The Perfect Little Black Dress...

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Today I had one of those moments where you just know the gods are smiling down upon you and the world is your oyster. It started innocently enough, just strolling through Nordstrom, helping my aunt shop for dress pants for her cruise next Spring. We wandered over to sportswear and I glanced at the sale swimsuits, thinking if the perfect one jumped out at me I might try it on for my cruise in two weeks, but I don't really NEED one.

We meandered upstairs just to see what was on the third floor (shoes maybe?!). Not really looking for anything in particular, we glanced over at the dress department, walked in a few steps to see what pretty things we could see, and then...there it was! The most perfect little black dress, made just for my body shape. It was as if someone took my picture and measurements, and said "I am going to design a dress just for her," and then they did!

I am a girl with curves, an hourglass figure my husband likes to say, but I basically tend to be a bit large in the hips, small in the waist, and curvy on top, which is not ideal for most of the designers it seems. Many of them seem to like to design for those straight bodies, which is weird since I don't know many women with that straight shape.

Back to the dress, it is cut in a style reminiscent of the 1950's with a fitted, V-necked bodice that has an oversized collar (not really a "collar" but collar-esque) going around the back of the neck and over the shoulders then tapering into the V. The sleeves are 3/4 length and have french cuffs with delicate rhinestone encrusted buttons. The skirt flares out with a bit of crinoline underneath to give it just the right amount of volume. The bodice is made of a knit type fabric and the collar and skirt are more of a silky taffeta type fabric. I should probably apologize for not having better terms for the design and fabrics, but this is just how I describe stuff - only without the made up words I usually use, so consider yourselves lucky.

Anyway, I tried the dress on and it was BEAUTIFUL! I loved it immediately and did not want to take it off! There were some shoes by the mirror so I grabbed a pair of peep toed heels to try on for effect - and WOW! I am sold! I couldn't imagine NOT owning the dress, even though I don't do dressy that often because my lifestyle involves wearing jeans, t-shirts, and flip flops most of the time. That, of course, is going to have to change!

So after I procure the dress for my future fancy life (I will for sure be wearing it on my cruise, at least!), I need to find shoes because the ones I already own will probably be ok, but maybe not. Back down on the first floor I examine all the dress shoes, walking slowly through the sale racks first, because I do know how to be thrifty, and then through the displays of regular priced shoes. I choose four pairs to try on and the salesman measures my feet to be sure I am asking for the right size (I love the service in Nordstrom!) and then proceeds to bring me the shoes in my size AND the size I told him I wanted.

The first pair were pretty, but the heel was lower than I am used to and the soles were SO slippery! The second pair were beautiful and so feminine with a satin rosette highlighted with rhinestones just above the peep toe. They just had that special look to them that the dress called for. Elegant, simple, yet they make a statement. Normally I do not like things (clothes, shoes, purses, accessories, bedding, towels, etc) with flowers on them, but these shoes spoke to me and when that happens, I have learned to listen.

Hours later, once I had reached home and unloaded my purchases on to the bed to show my husband, I was a little nervous. Hubby is a wonderful man with very good taste, but sometimes our taste differs and I really wanted him to like my new ensemble. Instead of showing him the dress on the hanger, I decided to give a little fashion show. Once I was ensconced in the dress and shoes, with appropriate jewelry and fresh lip gloss on, I walked into the room, did a little pose before giving a spin, and then waited for a response.

Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long...he loved it too! Even my son gave me a good review - and he is a tough critic - by comparing my look to one of the best characters in his video game (this was a good thing - I asked!).

With the stamp of approval given by all, I now sit here in my new dress, smiling and not quite ready to take it off. Finding the perfect little black dress is a wonderful experience, and finding the perfect shoes to go with the dress is blissful! Bring on those fancy, black-tie events people...I am ready for them, one and all!!

Wish Upon A Star...

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Just a reminder to check out the sky tonight and into the early morning for the Leonid Meteor Shower! It may appear as clusters of shooting stars so be sure to make a wish...or two!

I hope all of your dreams come true!

Hair Stylist: Found!

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

I finally went through with it ... I got my hair cut for the first time in my new town! I decided to go with the Rock n Roll salon (if you have been reading my blogs for a while you may remember from my earlier post "Wanted: Hair Stylist" that there were two choices) and I am happy that I did! I LOVE my haircut, she did a fantastic job! She listened to what I said I wanted, she understood the difficulties of cutting curly hair and how it shrinks way more after its dry than anyone ever really believes. She just thinned the volume and cut the layers to lighten up the curls and give them back their bounce ... perfection!

I am so thrilled, I almost can't wait to go back again ... but I will, because I don't need to over do it! Even Hubby is really happy with it, and he usually doesn't like it after its cut because its shorter and he likes it better long.

So, it was a complete success, I will definitely be going back, and next time I might even have them add some funky color just for fun!

This experience has given me hope, so now it is time to find a doctor and a dentist. While these people are less critical than the hair stylist, they are still important to have around so I am now on the hunt for one of each ... for each of us! We can actually all share a dentist, but we all need our own separate doctor, just to complicate things a little. Why not, right? Gotta keep things interesting!

Anyone have any suggestions on how to pick a great doctor in a new area where you don't have anyone you trust locally to ask for help? Thought I'd ask, just in case!

Thankful Thursday...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Here it is, Thursday again, and I am feeling very thankful for so many things this week! This week's list includes, but is not limited to, being thankful for:

- Hubby loving me SO much that he is willing to take me to see New Moon tomorrow...and sit through it with me (that is true love right there!)

- my son being a smart, independent, wise cracking, humorous, handsome, lovable, and talented kid whom I love beyond measure

- having the opportunity to spend the day with my aunt to celebrate her birthday with her earlier this week because we live close enough to each other to do so

- finding a hair stylist that knows what she is doing, and does it really well, on the first try

- the feel of the warm sand under my feet and between my toes when I walk and run on the beach, which I can do whenever because thankfully I live close to it

- my brother being close enough to hug this week, even if he is just visiting for a short time

- being almost done with my degree

- having the opportunity to work at something I enjoy

- living close enough to people I love so that we can share the holidays together...and see each other regularly just because

- getting to see my dad and spend a couple of days with him next week

- going on my first cruise with one of my favorite people of all time

- knowing my mom loves me, even if we don't see the world in the same way

- roller skating for fun and exercise with people I am so happy to spend time with

- living a life I enjoy and can be proud of

- most of all, my family and the love and time we share together

I hope that each of you are enjoying the beginning of this holiday season and have many wonderful reasons to be thankful!

Friday Wanderings

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Today I wandered both to places I have only read about and to places that I haven't visited in a long time.

Being that today is November 20th, the highly anticipated release date for the movie New Moon, and seeing as how I am both an avid reader and a huge movie buff, I was compelled to participate in the adventure! I am not the type of obsessive fan that had to be at the midnight showing, but actually my plan was to see the first showing of the morning, hoping that most people would be at school or work and the theater might not be too full. This was the same mistake I made when the latest installment of the Harry Potter series was released in theaters.

As it turned out, there wasn't a line of people waiting for seats, but the theater did fill up and it was noisy! I was surprised to see a good number of men in the theater, along with the expected women ranging in age from about 18 to 60. My own Hubby went with me even though he is not a fan and knows next to nothing about the story and characters - he just really loves me and knew it would make me happy to see the movie today!

So, we visited our local Starbucks before heading to the theater, driving along the ocean front road to get there so as to enjoy the view. Once inside the theater, I waited for the movie to begin, thinking back over the story and hoping the movie would do it justice (which I am afraid no movie ever does, but I always hope).

Now either you are a Twilight Saga fan, or not, and either way, frankly, I don't care. My love for the story does not come just from the writing itself (sorry Stephenie), but from the memories it evokes in me of my own true life love story that shares similarities. I met "my Edward" when I was 17, as Bella is when she meets her Edward. While he was not a vampire, or any other type of supernatural being, he was definitely too cool and interesting to be as in love with me as I was with him, or so I thought. I realized he was "The One" before he did, and we spent about two years of intense, deeply in love and tragic ending moments. At the point when I finally decided I had to try to move on, with my own version of Jacob coming into play, "my Edward" returned with the realization that we belonged together...finally! There was just no contest, all others were compared to "my Edward" and no one else could ever truly measure up.

So, today, while wandering through Forks, WA and Voltera, Italy with Bella, Edward, Jacob, and Alice, I also wandered back in time to those feelings and memories, the love and the pain, of my own great romance and was incredibly grateful that when "my Edward" asked me to marry him, I said "Yes"! The fact that all these years later he is still by my side every day, still my one and only true love and my best friend, and he is wiling to share with me in wandering through our history as well as that of the make believe love stories of others, only goes to prove, as if further proof were needed, that he is and has always been "The One" for me!

The Gift of Guilt...No Thank You!

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0700

I am happy to say that I completed my first blogging goal of posting everyday for the first 20 days of November! I wasn't sure I could do it, but I did and I am proud of myself for it.

That said, I know that I will not be able to post every day for the rest of the month because I will be entertaining family and friends over this Thanksgiving week and then I will be heading out for nine days of vacation and travel time. Some of that time I will be on a cruise and do not know what type of access they offer for the internet. So, be aware that my posts may be scattered and missing for the next two weeks, but I will be continuing once I return, so please keep checking in with me.

Ok, now that that is out of the way, I want to talk a little about guilt. For me, this is the time of year that the family guilt givers come out of the woodwork! I think they must consider it a gift of sorts, because they are very generous with their guilt and offer it freely and often.

As a child, I remember both of my grandmothers equally spewing guilt upon my parents to ensure that they were considered first in all holiday activities, not to mention that each was vying for top billing for time and meal sharing! As I got older, I tried to avoid the guilt gifts by prearranging my holiday plans by either working (which I couldn't get out of because I needed the money, as far as they knew) or I made sure to have an exit strategy in place before my arrival at each gathering.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my family, each and every one of them, but I don't enjoy having guilt thrown at me, especially when I am doing my best to please everyone else and knowing that it is never enough because I can only be in one place at one time. I can honestly see why people have considered the idea of cloning themselves when I think of the holidays with my family.

There was one year when Hubby and I were a young couple where we just abandoned all traditions and went miniature golfing on Christmas, then to the beach. It was amazing because everyone in every branch of both our families had decided to have their family get together on days surrounding the holiday, but not on the holiday itself! A true Christmas miracle in my book.

From the day of my birth (smack dab in the middle of the holiday festivities) until I was about 27, I was affected by guilt trip from many sides during this wonderful giving season. How did I end it, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you...I moved away! Problem solved. After moving away, I would invite my family to visit me in my home for the holidays, where it was beautiful (and cold) with lots of snow. That way, my son could enjoy his holidays at home and see his family at the same time. I thought it was a brilliant idea! Guess how many times we had company for the holidays over the past 12 years? Three. That's it. And do you know what, I never once sent anyone a gift of guilt for not coming to us. Not once!

There were a few years that we did travel to family for the holidays and it was great fun, but it was on our terms, time frames, and because we wanted to, not because we were guilted into it. In fact, if someone throws an invitation out there with even a hint of guilt attached, I make my excuses and refuse to attend - but with kindness. I learned from watching my parents be tortured each year when I was a child that I do not want to participate on that level - its no fair and no fun for anyone!

This is the wonderful gift I give to myself and my boys, and I treasure it each and every year! If you are suffering from the family guilt givers this season, let them know you are no longer playing by those rules and set a few new rules for yourself. You don't have to be unpleasant or nasty, and you certainly don't have to miss out on spending time with the people you love, no matter how crazy they can make you (and we all have family craziness, but hopefully there is also a deep love and appreciation for them as well). Find your inner guilt free voice and share it with all of those people in your life who need to listen!

Good luck to all of you out there, I'm rooting for you! I wish you all a very happy and guilt free holiday season!

Happy New Year

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0700

Well, here we are again! Not only is this the beginning of another year, but the beginning of a whole new decade! So much to look forward to, so much to hope for, so much to do. I am not one to make resolutions, I find that they are so rarely kept and why set myself up for failure at a time when there is so much hope? Instead, I just take stock of my life and if I find there are any areas I would like to improve on, I come up with a couple things that I am realistically willing to do differently and set a plan to do them. This may sound like a resolution to some of you, but for me it is just a plan with a goal. I am very goal oriented so it works better for me than to just say "I need to exercise more so I should join the gym". For me, joining the gym only costs money I don't want to spend and is a short term fix because I know I won't stick with it. So, with a few goals in mind, I look forward to the coming year!

One of the goals I have been working towards for a few years now is to complete my degree. I have registered for the coming semester's classes and am really looking forward to getting back to it! I still have one math related class to complete, which I have put off as long as possible. Advanced math is evil as far as I am concerned, and I dread classes in the subject! I am avoiding it for one more semester, but will have to complete the class by the end of the year.

I hope that this year will bring good things for us all by providing positive opportunities, experiences and outcomes! On the other hand, remember that you have the power to create positive changes in your own life, should you choose to...don't just sit around waiting for those opportunities to find you, put yourself out there and find them for yourself! Be proactive, take charge, and enjoy the fruits of your labors!

Last, but not least, please remember to show the ones you love how much they mean to you, don't just expect that they know! Do good deeds, share your heart, and enjoy every day!!

All the best to you in 2010!!